Nosey People

Obviously Anslee is adopted. When we decided to adopt from China we knew this would be apparent to everyone. Keith and I decided that this didn't matter because we knew our daughter was meant to be Chinese. While we were waiting for our referral I would see families with Chinese children. I usually just watched them for a minute but every once in a while I would ask the parents a few questions. For the most part the parents were very nice and were eager to talk about their experience. I always explained that we were waiting for our daughter's referral from China.

Even though Anslee's ethnicity is obviously different from mine, I am suprised at how often strangers come up to me and start asking me about her. I am one of those parents who generally enjoys answering people's questions about the adoption process. I've talked to many parents who've adopted who do not like to talk to strangers about adoption. They feel that people are just nosey and intrusive.

There are some questions that make me cringe, but I think that the people who ask them just aren't sure of the right words to use. I still usually answer them, but hope by my pointed response they realized that they either shouldn't have asked the question or chosen their words more carefully. I don't want Andrew or Anslee to feel as if we can't talk openly about adoption and even when the questions are rude I'm still very polite.
Some of my least favorite questions that I've been asked (usually asked in front of Andrew and Anslee):
How much did she cost?
Do you think it was worth it?
Is he (Andrew) sad he doesn't have a real sister?
Isn't it sad she doesn't look like she belongs in your family?
Are you going to adopt more or have one of your own?
Who does she look like?
I could go on and on....

One of the dumbest questions I've been asked:
Do you think she will be hard to understand when she starts talking, since she'll have that Chinese accent?

Even though I do get these occasional rude questions, I get many more thoughtful questions. There are so many people thinking about adoption and trying to get more information. It is a great feeling to be able to give them some information to help them make their decision.