Raising Children

Parenting is...terrifying! I am always worried. Am I being too strict...too lenient? I was talking to Andrew the other day and apologized about something I did. I told him that there is no parenting test or license and we parents are doing the best job we can. I also told him what a shock it was when I realized my parents didn't know everything, and they made mistakes. He replied, "Don't worry about me being shocked mom, because I already know that you and dad don't know everything, and you make mistakes all the time." Well I guess that's one less thing for me to worry about! 

Punishments were much easier then too.  Time out worked really well for my little ones.  I remember one time when Andrew was about 4.  He was in time out and he yelled in his most serious voice that if I wasn't nice he was calling 911 or Oprah!  Now you have to ground them...From what? For how long?  I have a friend who threatened to ground her children from Trick-or-Treating one year.  I thought there was no way she would carry that out, but she did!  Her children now know that she'll carry out what she says.  However... I could have never gone through with that, especially since it only comes once a year!  It reminds me of the episode on Modern Family when Phil says, "That's it!  I'm cancelling Christmas!"  while shoving the family's Christmas tree out the back door. 

There were days when Andrew and Anslee were little that I thought it could never be harder to parent than right then.  Little did I know how much harder it gets...  Before they go to school, you have complete control on what they see or hear.  When they get to school you loose that control.  In first grade they come home and say, "My friend kept saying F word at lunch today."  Feeling sick you ask, "What is the "F" word?"  If you're lucky, they reply "fart".  I was lucky then, but by third, they tell you, and it is the real dreaded "F" word!

Keith had "the" talk with Andrew a couple of weeks ago.  At the end of 5th grade the school does a Health lesson on this and we wanted to preempt this.  Keith did a great job, and I don't think Andrew was scarred at all!  Anslee has always been much more mature than Andrew at each stage.  I'm assuming it's because she's the second child.  It seems that it's this way with all my friends' children too.  The other day she casually said, "Mom, I know how mommies get babies in their tummies."  I managed to squeak out, "How?'  She said, "You need the Dad too. He has to feed the mom a lot of food so her tummy can get really fat and then a baby is in there."  Whew.  "That sounds about right," I
said.  Yesterday we were eating, or maybe gorging is a better word, on dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds (which might be the best thing I've ever put into my mouth), and I said that I needed to stop eating them.  Anslee said, "So you don't get a baby in your tummy?"  Of course, "Yep," was my reply. :-)

I know that as time goes on the ramifications of their choices becomes greater and greater.  That really scares me.  How did our parents do this??  Hopefully one day, I be sitting here and my children will be happy, successful adults.  That will be the greatest feeling ever!  To know that everything I did wrong while parenting didn't have a disastrous effect!!